Silent Sunday

Some things that i love

Its been a while but I'm joining in with the Butwhymummywhy fab linky,  'Somethings that i love' again.

Something that i read

I've mentioned before my penchant for 77p crap titles from Amazon. These are so shameful i feel I'll be disowned if i mention them here so instead I'm going to tell you what i will be reading, just as soon as it arrives. I have joined the @britmums book club and out first book is going to be Honour by Elif Shafak.

 I am also going to have a read of some of the titles suggested by @plasticrosaries from the womens prize list. I am really looking forward to reading some 'proper' books again. Ones I'll actually be proud to talk about.

Something that I've listened too

Woeful, that is what my music listening is at the moment, plain woeful. I just don't seem to have the time or inclination. This must change. A friend is doing an acoustic gig soon, I'm going to convince the other half that we should go along. Hopefully this will rekindle my love of music. I'd love to hear what other people are listening too, maybe get a bit of inspiration from that too.

Something that i watched

I really liked the episode of Call the Midwife where Chummy gave birth, i think it was only last week. I've lost tack of my days a bit. I love Miranda and think anything she does is fab. This is a complete turnaround as i hated her at first. I like this more serious side to her acting, very talented lady. I cried like a baby too which always feels a bit cleansing to me.

Something that i wore

I have barely been out the house this week with one thing and another so I'm ashamed to say so my most memorable outfit has been a lovely dark green top relegated to house wear only as it has a huge bleach stain on the tummy and some very comfy grey yoga pants. I shall try better next week.

Something that i cannot live without

This week my sister has helped me out loads. We have a difficult relationship at times. Too close for comfort if I'm honest. She is ill an awful lot with fibromialgia and depression. This means she often lets me down and i have got to the stage where i cant always rely on her. This is really sad as when she is there for me she supports me like no other person can. She just KNOWS what i need. KNOWS ME. This week she has been a star. She has had N twice and its been a life saver. I hope the support i offer her does as much.

A super simple very hungry caterpillar craft

Did you know it's The very hungry caterpillar day today? No neither did I until i saw a tweet mentioning it. This was one of N's first books, he loved putting his fingers in the holes.

We made these egg carton caterpillars one day last year. They've been mentioned in a post previously but I thought I'd bring them out again just in case you're looking for a super quick craft to go with the book. They are so simple, all i needed to do was the cutting. N did all the colouring and smudging himself.

We simple cut the egg carton up and coloured it in to look like the caterpillar. I then drew some faces on. We used oil pastels, as they were new and I wanted to try them out. N liked to smudge them.

Paint would probably work better.

We then used the caterpillars as we read the story to act it out.

Here are some more (far superior) Hungry Caterpillar ideas from two of my favourite bloggers.

The Imagination Tree

Sensory Storytelling Tub

Play dough Story telling - this is one of our favourite activities

Eric Carle inspired tissue paper prints.

Nurturestore

A whole host of ideas and activities

Both Sites are well worth checking out. They are a constant go to for me at home and my playgroup. I've lost count of the amount of moms I've recommended them to.



Easter inspired small world/sensory bin

I love Easter, probably not for the reasons I should being the good catholic girl that I am. *ahem*

I love the colours, the food, the crafts. I love that I generally see my much ignored cousins around this time. I love the feeling of new beginnings all around me. We like to visit the farm to see the lambs and the chicks when they come along. It's just a really lovely hopeful time of year. I also really like chocolate...alot.

I've made N a little Small world/Sensory bin so he can enjoy this time of year even when its raining outside like today.

It's very simple. Some dyed pasta and rice. Some colourful shredded paper and a few of his farm animals and happy land figures.

We played rounding up the sheep using the sheep dog. Putting the cows out to graze and feeding the baby chicks some worms.

I'll leave it out for N to go back to as he wishes.

Hope your spring is going well and you all have a wonderful Easter.

Instructions on dying pasta/rice


Add required amount of rice/pasta to a large sandwich bag.

Add colouring. I find the gel type you buy at cake decorating shops best but I have used the liquid ones you get in the supermarkets too, it just takes a bit longer to dry.

Some people use a squirt of hand sanitise gel to help the drying process along. I've never bother to be honest.

Then spread out on a tray in a fine layer to dry.

Store in an air tight container. It keeps for ages and ages.

It has multiple uses to, sensory tubs, crafts, use with play dough, thread pasta with holes in a fine motor skill practise. The list is endless.

Here is some close ups.

I hope you like it.

The fear

I have a fear. The kind that keeps me awake at night and makes my stomach clench and turn to water if i think on it too long.

Its not the normal fears like spiders or fire or even losing my child which of course alll scare me to varying degrees.

At the moment my biggest fear is my husband getting sick. I mean really sick. Unable to work or function sick.

It terrifies me.

I've mentioned i have Fibromialgia, you can see what that means here. What it means for me on a daily basis very simply is that i ache an i'm tired. If i do too much then this ramps up to being in agony and being unable to get out of bed. I intend to do a full post on this at some point but it just feels too huge at the minute.

I've had it since about 2007. Ive got it mostly under control now but its took time and a its been steep learning curve. Its a constant balencing act.

My husband has had to take on so much since i became ill. He has to work to keep us afloat. He works long hours to being in overtime. I also think he would go mad not working. I may go mad with him at home all day TBH.

He does the majority of the housework and all washing and ironing. He does the shopping and runs any errands we have at the weekend. He also helps me care for my ill family members. I'll do the calling round and whatever i can do online. He does the rest.

It feels like a tug of  war sometimes. I pull him towards me as i need more help, he pulls away as he has so much else he needs to do. I sometimes feel like his last priority but in reality i know i'm his first well joint first with N.

So much of our existence relies on my husband being well, his is the linch pin to our whole life. If we didnt have him we would loose everything. I cant support us. We need him.

So these last two weeks my husband has been feeling rough. He thought it was just a cold. He wouldnt rest. He says he hasnt got the time. If i'm honest he probably hasnt. 

He has plowed on and on until finally his body has said no more. 

He is feverish, achy, weak and could sleep all day. I'd asked him to go to the doctors but it wasnt until his Dad, a man of few words took him to one side to ask him quietly to take care of himself that it sunk in. 

He went to the walk in centre today. Its a virus. Isnt it always? The doctor told him he has made it much worse by not resting sooner and that she wantted him to do nothing for the next couple of days.  

If he doesnt improve he has to go to the doctors for some blood tests.

So not too bad you'd think? But  i'm a wreak.

What if? What if he is REALLY ILL? What if he gets post viral fatigue? What if he cant work?

Then the selfish thoughts. How am i going to cope without his help? Hw cani manage caring for him as well as everything else.

I know this is all a bit premature. He has a virus. He just needs to rest. This has become my manta today.


I can’t stop worrying. I'm making him lemsips and keeping him fed. I'm caring for N and trying to keep the house tidy(ish).

But I know I’ve only got a few days of this in me, its not that I don’t want to continue to care for him, I do. I love caring and spoiling my boys. I just know that sooner rather than later this extra activity will cause me to crash.

Then what? If he is ill and I’m ill. Who takes care of N then?

My Husband already feels he can’t be ill or weak in anyway due to my illness and by feeling like this I’m proving him right. That’s too much pressure for any one person.

Its whets got him to this point in the first place.

So I’m carrying on, I’m caring for him and making him rest but the horrible thing is I don’t know how long I can continue. 

I'm also praying and crossing everything I have he gets well soon. For both of us.

Boys will be boys

I've been thinking about gender recently.

It started with the post 'Grey' by Sonya @ Ramblings of a former Rock 'n' Roll mum discussing how her daughter fell in love with Pink at around the time she started school and how it really didn't do her any harm. How people get so hett up about girls wearing pink like its a statement and not just a colour.

I'd also seen these eggs over at jbmumofone , i really love them and commented that it was good to see a boy themed craft. So much crafting seems aimed at girls.

This got me thinking. We do seem to being doing alot more 'Boy' stuff at home lately but i honestly don't think it's me leading it.

N seems to have gone all boy like all of a sudden.

Having a boy was a bit of a shock to my system. I've got three nieces. One of which i lived with for a long time and we still remain very close, R is now 12, we text daily and she stays at mine most weeks.

I was very comfortable with all things pink and sparkly. I could 'Do' girls. Sitting outside the ultrasound room before our 20 week scan, we joked that it couldn't be a boy. We wouldn't know what to do with him.

Well it was a boy! N came along and as you do, i fell head over heels. It didn't matter that he was a boy. He was perfect.

However i didn't go all out blue. He had a neutral nursery. I prefer the more neutral colours, beige, oranges and greens. Although his clothing has got a bit more blue hued over time.

His baby toys were unisex and when he got a little older i made a conscious effort to provide a mix of toys.

He loves his pushchair and baby, he has a tea set, an old handbag and purse along side the cars, trains, planes more associated with boys.

taking teddy for a stroll

We don't believe in all that boys cant play with dolls rubbish. I once saw a dad at a playgroup storm across the room to snatch a push chair from his toddle sons hands and snarl at him that boys don't play with them! It made me feel a bit sick.

reading baby a story.

But just recently you'd think we'd sent him to action man training camp from day one.. N is all but beating his chest and shouting 'I am BOY'.

He is all about planes, trains and automobiles. When we paint we HAVE to paint cars and lorries. When we junk model, it HAS to be a train. Drawing anything other than a plane or a rocket is punishable by all out hissy fit.

I had to practically beg to get him to consider painting these daffodils. He loved it when he did though. He loved painting my hands more!

Even the way he plays with the so called girly toys has changed. The pushchair now gets bashed up the wall, poor baby when it isn't precariously riding pillion on N's motorcycle is being wrestled or flung.

I don't know where its coming from. It seems like he's had a injection of testosterone. Rough and tumbling like he never has before. Playing with his cars over all the over toys. Even the books he wants to read. No more owl babies, he wants the busy tractor and Thomas books.

Is it an age thing? He is nearly 32 months.

I'm vaguely familiar with the whole nature vs nurture debate and I've wondered have i influenced him into this boy role. I don't think i have. Has society? It just seems to be inbuilt to a certain extent.

Am i that bothered that my little boy has gone all boyish? No not really. Its given me pause for thought but nothing more.

I am conscious of not pigeon holing N. All i want for him is to be free to be who he wants to be without the constraints of stereotyping.

So ill keep up with the crafting and cooking, the role play kitchen and the teddy bears tea parties as well as playing garages and airports. Giving him a wide range of experiences and not stress about his obsession with cars - 130 and counting, car boot job lot, Thanks Nanny! and all things that go Zooooooom.

Are your children stereotypically 'Boys' or 'Girls'? Do you think you did anything to encourage/discourage this.

What do you think of the Nature vs Nurture effect on gender?

Does it matter? As long as N grows up to be a happy well balanced individual who treats others with respect.

I'm not sure it does.

Saturday Is caption day #2