A proper grown up Mummy
An article in the family section of the Guardian yesterday about India Knight http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2012/dec/15/india-knight-grownup-children has got me thinking.
I don't feel like a 'real' Mommy. I don't even feel like a grown up half the time. It shocks me some mornings when i see my face staring back at me, where is the 17 year old who was told she bore a slight resemblance to Nell McAndrew.
I often don't feel i know enough to be classified as a proper grown up mommy, I thought i would have things all sorted by now, I'm not sure what things but never the less.
I've had this chat with friends and we all feel like we haven't quite 'got' there yet. Most of our own moms seemed so much more together at our ages. We seemed to be cooked proper meals all the time, never fobbed off with beans on toast as mommy was tired. I don't ever remember seeing my mom hungover let alone drunk, Ninky has not had this experience but this is mainly because I'm on medication rather than any moral stance on this. My mother always seemed to know where my shoes were, i had matching socks and while i wouldn't remember this, i can guarantee my potty training didn't begin because she had forgotten to pack nappies.
I cant claim to be quite as rock n roll as India in the article and if anyone ever tried to roll up a spliff in my house as her sons once witnessed then they would be thrown out without ceremony and if I'm truthful here, probably with a black eye from my hubby but i still do feel too young (I'm 30!) or at least inexperienced to be classed as a proper grown up mommy.
I do however have the odd moment when i feel all glowy and properly mommyish.
The a few of the moments that make me feel like this are.
1. Making something homely for dinner like fish pie or Shepperd's pie
2. Baking a cake.
3. Making homemade play dough. ( too easy to be impressive but it makes me feel good to do it)
4. Running my own Mother and toddler group. (Although this sometimes makes me feel like a complete fraud as people somehow think I'm qualified to give advice on parenting/childcare issues. How should i know is not really an appropriate answer but often the first to spring to mind)
5. Rocking my baby to sleep. How can you not feel that the world is right and you know exactly what your role in it is when your little one is snuggled up to you. It just makes everything OK.
Do you feel like this sometimes? What makes you feel like a proper mommy? What makes you feel like a fraud at this Mommy lark?
I'd love to know?