Saturday, 9 March 2013

Boys will be boys

I've been thinking about gender recently.

It started with the post 'Grey' by Sonya @ Ramblings of a former Rock 'n' Roll mum discussing how her daughter fell in love with Pink at around the time she started school and how it really didn't do her any harm. How people get so hett up about girls wearing pink like its a statement and not just a colour.

I'd also seen these eggs over at jbmumofone , i really love them and commented that it was good to see a boy themed craft. So much crafting seems aimed at girls.

This got me thinking. We do seem to being doing alot more 'Boy' stuff at home lately but i honestly don't think it's me leading it.

N seems to have gone all boy like all of a sudden.

Having a boy was a bit of a shock to my system. I've got three nieces. One of which i lived with for a long time and we still remain very close, R is now 12, we text daily and she stays at mine most weeks.

I was very comfortable with all things pink and sparkly. I could 'Do' girls. Sitting outside the ultrasound room before our 20 week scan, we joked that it couldn't be a boy. We wouldn't know what to do with him.

Well it was a boy! N came along and as you do, i fell head over heels. It didn't matter that he was a boy. He was perfect.

However i didn't go all out blue. He had a neutral nursery. I prefer the more neutral colours, beige, oranges and greens. Although his clothing has got a bit more blue hued over time.

His baby toys were unisex and when he got a little older i made a conscious effort to provide a mix of toys.

He loves his pushchair and baby, he has a tea set, an old handbag and purse along side the cars, trains, planes more associated with boys.
taking teddy for a stroll

We don't believe in all that boys cant play with dolls rubbish. I once saw a dad at a playgroup storm across the room to snatch a push chair from his toddle sons hands and snarl at him that boys don't play with them! It made me feel a bit sick.

reading baby a story.

But just recently you'd think we'd sent him to action man training camp from day one.. N is all but beating his chest and shouting 'I am BOY'.

He is all about planes, trains and automobiles. When we paint we HAVE to paint cars and lorries. When we junk model, it HAS to be a train. Drawing anything other than a plane or a rocket is punishable by all out hissy fit.

I had to practically beg to get him to consider painting these daffodils. He loved it when he did though. He loved painting my hands more!

Even the way he plays with the so called girly toys has changed. The pushchair now gets bashed up the wall, poor baby when it isn't precariously riding pillion on N's motorcycle is being wrestled or flung.

I don't know where its coming from. It seems like he's had a injection of testosterone. Rough and tumbling like he never has before. Playing with his cars over all the over toys. Even the books he wants to read. No more owl babies, he wants the busy tractor and Thomas books.

Is it an age thing? He is nearly 32 months.

I'm vaguely familiar with the whole nature vs nurture debate and I've wondered have i influenced him into this boy role. I don't think i have. Has society? It just seems to be inbuilt to a certain extent.

Am i that bothered that my little boy has gone all boyish? No not really. Its given me pause for thought but nothing more.

I am conscious of not pigeon holing N. All i want for him is to be free to be who he wants to be without the constraints of stereotyping.

So ill keep up with the crafting and cooking, the role play kitchen and the teddy bears tea parties as well as playing garages and airports. Giving him a wide range of experiences and not stress about his obsession with cars - 130 and counting, car boot job lot, Thanks Nanny! and all things that go Zooooooom.

Are your children stereotypically 'Boys' or 'Girls'? Do you think you did anything to encourage/discourage this.

What do you think of the Nature vs Nurture effect on gender?

Does it matter? As long as N grows up to be a happy well balanced individual who treats others with respect.

I'm not sure it does.

1 comment:

  1. My little boy loves all things pink at the moment. Then again, his Dad wears quite a bit of pink too! I think they will be what they will be and as long as they know they are loved then they will be fine.
    Thanks so much for the mention x


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